10-09-20 | 08:37am
Early on in my life I ascertained that I’d decided that I wanted to be as carefully calculated as I could. Carefully calculated meaning that I could warrant some semblance of control over my life – pick the perfect career, nurture loving friendships, work within my field of passion. In reflection, I’d say that I’ve done much to maintain this sense of control. Letting go of things I’d felt were a hinderance to my path, I moved with calculating and meticulous selfishness in order to conquer and achieve my goals. And yet somehow still found that this wasn’t enough.
Human plight is actually quite comical. Egos fight with one another for the reclamation of power, wanting control over each and every circumstance in its path. It wants money, power, women/men, children, property. Or perhaps recognition, fame, to be seen and witnessed. The ego climbs the ladder looking for more and more and even when the ladder ends it begins to pull from the former steps building new ones so that it can climb again.
When climbing ladders, it is rare that we pause to truly gaze at our surroundings. Enamored with the promise of triumph and possibly bewildered with fear, we understand that the ladder is only means to an end, so we climb up faithfully never checking to tune in with fresh surroundings of new heights. At this point in my life, with all that I have accomplished, I reflect on the solemn reality that prestige, power and material things will never fulfill me. I’ve made prayers and asked for things only God could deliver and assuredly, my life is a testament to His word in delivery. But the moment calls for us to pause the climb and bask in His blessings during a time where it would seem few are blessed.
But this morning, I’ve woken up to birds chirping in North Carolina winds. A roof over my head, food in my belly from the night before, a cup of tea waiting on the coffee table before me. I’ve had the ability to feel remorse at missing my morning prayer and a longing for communion with my Creator. I’m surrounded by loved ones who whisper prayers of abundance, blessing and safety over me as I venture along this new journey of being still. I have a keyboard to write words that may not sound exquisitely poetic but remain dear to my being as reflections of the truth I exist in.
Blessings are very apparent and simple when we are able to tune into their presence. Our Creator has given us an insurmountable amount of things to be gracious for, if only we’d stop to reflect on the simplest of things. And those simple things bring forth a reverence for nature constantly moving in perfect design, allowing us to take in fresh breaths each morning thankful for our hearts steady beating.
At this pause upon the ladder, I’m taking careful time to find God in everything and everyone so that living does not become about what the world can offer to me or even what I can offer it; but how everything we need is already given. It’s here; right now. And in this awareness, living stems from a place of wholeness where the relationship becomes unconditionally loving, reciprocal and revered. Where one sees God in the whole and treats it as so. Moving through living with love, kindness, patience and gratitude.
There is no place that we are arriving, nothing that we are seeking. Everything that we need is already here, the gamble is practicing enough mindfulness and presence to tune into that. Every day we have the choice of how we perceive our reality. And that choice will either place us in a mental Hell or allow us to walk forward into the Kingdom of Heaven.
So, what will you choose today?
Welcome to Day One of the Wild Woman’s Road Trip
Genuinely Jannah 