We are a society that is infiltrated with greed.
The demon of greed lingers in each one of us, a small voice that tells us “we need more”.
“No, I cannot stand by and simply let the breeze run through my hair, I need to fight against it”
“What? I cannot just enjoy the computer that I’ve had for 10 years. No, I need a new one”
“Why would I wear the same clothes I’ve worn over the past 2 years? Something newer would fit my style!”
We live in perpetual desire that leads to greed.
I reflect on the rumination of wanton and greed as I think of the current state of affairs in the world. I reflect on the reality that we are living on a floating planet, somehow charging each other illusionary currency to determine our livelihood and wellbeing. This currency gives us passage into our experience; who you will know, where you will be, what your health will look like. All in the space where everything on earth is arguably free.
All because of possession. And greed.
There is a certain amount of grief that arise in moments like this. A grief that we perhaps have made a much more construed existence than it need be. Grief, at the difficulty it is for each of us to be free. Grief, that even as I write this, I understand that each of us are simply trying to eat. Grief, that we have not allowed ourselves the real benefit and wholeness of living spiritually.
Grief so deep that I speak to my clients in the tongue of grief. Grief so deep that many “mental health” issues derive from this greed. Grief that I am a complicit participant in the world of desire, consideration and greed.
Grief. I feel it all over me. Recently, I’ve been debating on how I can go back to school and get my PhD and afford my cost of living. How can I provide people help and also not be rightfully indignant at the very system that claims to support me. How can I allow the gifts of my ancestors to slip my mouth and only be expressed when I am validated from the “yes” of the cursed man. The same man, who’s very breath is tainted with the sour stench of greed.
I am…in but so many words a kaleidoscope of emotion. Frustrating coats the shoulders that begin to ware in the face of inhume acts. To feel trapped in a system that is based on the selfish needs of the “me” instead of embodying the spiritual principality of “we”. To provide service to a people’s whom “mental illness” are derived from the very same exhaustion. And grief. To understand that many are ill because their spirit cannot hold them to the system that has betrayed them. And dampened the soul that God has given them — how could I look a reflect of myself and feel anything but grief?
And yet…I still hold the most silent prayer in a well so deep, I thought God Himself could not find it…A prayer that He will somehow deliver us and set each one of us free.
But we have to embody this freedom first between you and me. God, give us free.
Ameen.
Genuinely Jannah 