Healing the Emotional Body

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When a person commits to recovering from trauma, a holistic assessment and healing of the human psyche are often needed. The human psyche is made up of:

Physical body – Biological and physiological needs such as air, food, water, warmth, sleep, etc.
Conscious/Unconscious mind – Thinking, knowledge, information, reasoning, cognition, understanding, perception and memories
Emotional body – Feelings, emotions, sensations, passions, desires, and experiences

When experiencing trauma, memories are instantly stored in the conscious/unconscious mind and emotional body. The same way our memories have an imprint on us, so do our emotions. Emotions hold information. They are reactions to the deep memories and thoughts about our experiences and its effects. The emotional body is integral because it allows for man to experience his thoughts, memories, and reality in a way that goes deeper than simply thinking. Feelings translate our thoughts and perceptions of reality into the embodiment of experiences: in the first person. In other words, emotions and feelings make our experience one that is personal. Nevertheless, as the human body and mind are interconnected, emotions can determine decision making, thoughts, and behaviors. They ultimately serve as alerts to our psyche with clues and information on things that may harm, help or excite us.

In therapy, the act of conceptualizing, rethinking and logically deciphering traumatic events is essential to healing the conscious mind. In essence, in order to heal from psyche damage, many humans need to logically reason and understand the experiences they’ve had. However, just as important is the emotional body which imprints and stores feelings in the psyche and therefore affects the conscious mind.

For example, one who may have had the occurrence of an absent parent usually reports feeling the emotion of abandonment. Abandonment is a subjective emotional state that is characterized by feelings of insecurity, loss, fear, sadness or undesirability. A child experiencing abandonment often does not have a conscious understanding to make sense of what is they are feeling. In addition to this, the conscious mind is born as protective and will innately react to the negative feeling of fear and shield the child from experiencing that emotion. Therefore this feeling and experience get stored away into both the unconscious mind and the emotional body.

This child will continue to grow up with feelings of inadequacy, being undesirable, fear of loss, sadness, and insecurity. Because the conscious mind was so protective, it would’ve have stored the memory and feeling deep into the unconscious and emotional body, disabling the growing child from being able to cognitively process and experience those negative emotions. What do you think happens next? Yes, in search for healing, the child will then unconsciously seek out situations in which the psyche replays the story of abandonment over and over again.

In order to heal, one must dig into the emotional body and allow for those old emotions to come up in order to be experienced and united. There are various techniques for fostering this integration with one being the meditative practice of “sitting with one’s emotions”. Here is the technique I use for this practice.

Sit comfortably, cross-legged or in a chair with feet planted firmly on the ground
Breathe deeply into both nostrils, in and out
Bring up the memory/core issue that wishes to be explored
Tune into the body as this memory comes up. Ask yourself “What emotion am I feeling?” Take the time to feel this emotion as it courses through your body. Do not try to guide your thoughts or change your emotions. Simply let it take its course.
Now ask “Where in the body is this feeling? What does it feel like?” You are familiarizing yourself with this unique bodily feeling so that you will know what emotion you are experiencing if it comes up again in the future.
Next, ask “Where did I first experience this emotion?” If nothing comes up at this point, that is fine. Sometimes we are unable to remember exactly when we first experienced an emotion. Simply allow for the feeling to come up, in order to experience it.
Say that emotion “I hear you. I am here with you. I support you. You are allowed to feel.”
Reconstruct the memory into what you think you NEEDED at that time in order to feel your best. This will be personal for each person, so allow for your feelings to guide you and not your conscious mind. Your emotional body knows best what it needs.

Healing the emotional body does not happen in one sitting. Many people are unaware of the fact that there are years of emotional trauma that must be experienced, healed and integrated. Take all the time you need to foster this union. Healing is a journey that one must take for the course of their life not a single destination.

The Healer

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They call her the savior

A curse derived from childhood

Marked by her upbringing

Where she was everyone’s sunshine

She is the psychologist

The knower, the healer

Intelligent, wise

Able to solve problems

To fix pieces, mend hearts

She is the salve that one puts on their scars;

The Band-Aid a young child places on their injury;

The stitches that hold together flesh;

The molecules that bind to form cells

Do you know the curse of a healer?

The one that seeks to heal even in the midst of their own suffering?

The selfless act of empathy

Of compassion

Of relating

Or perhaps enmeshment

Struggling to release binds

To release ties

Placing boundaries to save oneself

If you understand the curse of the healer, then…

Who heals the healer?

How can she be saved?

If she’s the one doing the saving,

I suppose,

Her salve;

Her band-aid;

Her medicine

Lies somewhere in between silence

A cup of tea, a pen, and paper,

Prayer,

and time

As it etches on, memories fading into nothingness

Her purification deriving from destruction

Like the Phoenix whom burns itself to ashes

Only to rise anew, relishing in the purity of rebirth

Do you know the miracle of the healer?

Where depths are welcome

Death loses its horror

And suffering is her rebirth

The Psychology Behind Manifestation

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Its that time of year again. In between making plans for holiday events, running around searching for that perfect gift and figuring out what the hell your new year’s resolutions are this year- taking the time to sow seeds for the new year can seem damned-near impossible.

In lieu of this new age spirituality, talk of “manifesting your dreams into reality” has become extremely mainstream. The idea of manifestation and law of attraction is that by focusing on negative or positive thoughts the universe will bring corresponding negative or positive experiences into one’s existence. While this idea seems harmless enough, many people have trouble believing in it because it has little to no scientific research to back it up. However, in purely psychological terms, it is not uncommon to believe that one’s perception creates their reality.

One interpretation of this personal perception is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-fulfilling prophecy is when our beliefs and expectations influence our behavior at the subconscious level. When this happens, our subconscious actually enables us to act out our beliefs and therefore, bring them into existence. In fact, in a study done by Pantich, D. & Jones, S.C (1971) they found that there is a tendency for individuals to act in a certain way to fulfill their prophecies or beliefs even when it comes to other people. In this particular study, in showing mutual attraction toward a stranger, person A would display positive actions according to their personal thoughts and beliefs that person B liked them. What did the results show? Well, results displayed that person B often would have more positive general feelings toward their partners! This resulted in both partners reporting that they had mutual increases in their personal evaluation of likeability in one another.

The key to understanding this phenomenon is that manifestation is a battle of both the mind and the action. It is imperative to have positive beliefs first because these beliefs affect your perception and then consequently, your actions. When your actions reinforce your beliefs these then turn into self-fulfilling prophecies or as we call it nowadays- manifestations.

So as mentioned in the beginning, it is the end of the year and the perfect time to sow the seeds for a positive, hopeful outlook on the new year. However, it’s not just enough to set goals and hope for the best. In order for your dreams to turn into reality, it helps for you to alter your belief system and perceptions around attaining them. As time has proven over and over again, change is an inside job first and then transmutes outward last.

Here are some tips on manifesting your best year yet:

Ask yourself: “what disabling beliefs am I holding about attaining my goals and dreams?”

You cannot manifest anything if you hold beliefs that are inevitably self-sabotaging your dreams. You need to assess if you are holding any disabling or negative beliefs about what you want to accomplish before you attempt to make your dreams into reality. Clear out your blocks first, then space will open up for newness to blossom next.

What enabling beliefs do I wish to replace the disabling ones with?

After going in and plucking all of those negative beliefs and ideas from its roots, take the time to replace them with new ones that will enable you to manifest the life that you desire.

How do I want my next year to feel?

It’s helpful to provide imagery of your perfect life, however, lasting results comes from being able to feel in your body what you want your experience to be. How do you feel when you are at your best – when you drop all identities and you are at your rawest, unfiltered, divine self? Maryam Hasnaa calls this feeling your home frequency. When you master naming this feeling, you are able to create situations you know is in alignment with YOUR truth.

For this, it helps to sit in meditation and envision imagery of your ideal self and life. Take notice of how your body feels. Does this imagery make you feel good? Do you feel happy? Is your heart pleased with this? Does it feel in alignment with your best-self, your truth? This is step is key for future reference because if the feeling in your body is in alignment or contradictory to the feeling you want to create, you will know because you’ve already studied what your home frequency is.

What steps will I take to make this next year feel like this?

After you study and master what your home frequency is, begin to create experiences that allow for you to embody that frequency. This is where you lay out the personal steps you will take in order to honor your truest self, purpose and divine nature.

As many psychologists and scientists have proven, reality is a construct that is filtered through one’s personal perception. So remember: mastering your reality will always begin with mastering yourself.

References: Panitch, D. Jones, S.C. The self-fulfilling prophecy and interpersonal attraction. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Volume 7, Issue 3. 1971.Pages 356-366. ISSN 0022-1031. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-1031(71)90034-5.

Getting comfortable with fear

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When doing any type of therapy or healing work it’s important to look at old patterns that may be keeping one from experiencing a fuller, healthier conscious. This search often consists of a confrontation with oneself about things that may be prohibiting one from experiencing growth. In the midst of much research, I found find this reoccurring feeling which underlies the stagnation to any change: fear.

Fear can be defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threaten. The very definition of fear gives a sense that one needs to be wary of this emotion, despite the fact that the whole of society is built upon it. Turn on the TV and our inner psyche is immediately filled with images and scenarios that provoke fear. Many of us live in houses, insulated with material comforts and entertainment for fear of living in discomfort. Many return to work with fears that if they don’t work they’ll be able to live sustainably. Many often don’t take chances for the fear of the outcome. What is it about fear that is so compelling?

Fear is a necessary learned emotion. If we were unable to feel fear in certain situations, we would then be unable to shield ourselves from hurtful or dangerous stimuli. However, fear in excess is more detrimental than it is helpful — often severely impacting our judgments and choices in situations. According to Lerner and Keltner (2001), in a study which assessed risk-taking, participants who felt fearful frequently made pessimistic judgments and choices which increased their perception of risk, in contrast to happy or angry participants who were unconcerned with risks and made judgments and choices that were optimistic in nature.

The biggest difference between a “fearful” and a “fearless” person is the comfort one has with unpredictability. Like the participants in the study, “fearless” people are known for embracing unpredictability. It does not mean that one does not have fears; it only means that it does not impact their judgments and decisions. Often, in avoiding confrontations of fear one may consequently miss out on opportunities to experience growth. In fully allowing ourselves to both question and experience those fears, we are often able to conquer and transform them.

Here are some prompts that are helpful when encountering fear:

In the midst of experiencing fear, ask yourself this question: “What am I actually afraid of?” Then ask, “What is the worst outcome of this situation? Would I be able to endure said outcome?” Taking chances in life can enable many memorable and teachable experiences. Rarely are their chances that one takes without the ability to learn something whether it is about themselves or other people. It is usually the chances that we don’t take that end up stunting opportunities for personal growth.

If there is a job, project or task that you have been hesitating to complete, do it. Even if it fails, you now have learned lessons that you can take to future projects you wish to complete. If you need to quit a habit, quit it. If you don’t start today, when will you start? If you have some healing to do, please heal. Tomorrow is not promised and nothing in this world is eternal. Try to get comfortable with the idea that you will never have all of the answers. We do not know what happens next and that’s okay. Perhaps this knowledge will give us a chance to truly enjoy what we have while it’s within our grasp.

References:

Lamia, Mary C. “The Complexity of Fear.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 15 Dec. 2011, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201112/the-complexity-fear.

Lerner, J. & Keltner, D. (2001). Fear, anger, and risk. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2001. 81:1, 146–159.