If there’s anything I’ve learned from traveling, I know how essential it is to pack light.
Traveling across the country has been a grace only inso much as you are able to practice a keen amount of flexibility. Some days will be absolute chaos—moving luggage from one place to the next, gathering groceries for the upcoming week, trying to build a temporary home out of a foreign location. The ability to be flexible is an indispensable trait that allows for one to have a deeper experience in new locations, an ability to nurture self-compassion in difficult moments and encourage growth. This flexibility in traveling, I’ve observed, is also something that is integral for our ability to create a healthy space psychologically as well.
To “pack light” literally means the way it sounds—to release baggage that simply is not helping us any longer. We each have years of experience, mental concepts and perspectives that become crystallized as we get older. But some of these crystalline perspectives cost us the ability to have inner growth. Or even inner peace. We feel heavy because we hold old stories to our chests, as if those stories even defined us; we clench tightly to old hurts and forgo forgiveness even as our palms bleed from the strain of constriction; we attack ourselves in the name of “self-preservation”, though it does nothing but damage our own inner trust. And when time comes for us to fly, we wonder why we are the bird that never leaves the nest. Leading to inevitable death.
To enjoy travel not only means enjoying seeing and experiencing a freshness of life around me, but also within myself. I can no longer afford the brunt of holding on to past hurts that no longer serve my ability to be peaceful and joyful in the present moment—my hands are too weary. I can no longer afford to spend the duration of my short time of this earth in self-caused pain, suffering and stagnation—my time is too precious. And I can no longer make excuses for worldly attachments fastening around my neck, keeping me tied to slippery ground, causing a rigidity in my uptight spine—I am meant to fly high above until I reach back into the heavens.
This is what it means to live a life that is limitless. A life that is all mine; a story between God and I, letting go of everything in between. I am so far beyond being defined by the resting place I place my head and so I will journey this world like a traveler—building a home within God only and myself.
Have you ever experienced a moment where you are feeling overworked, exhausted or a lack of motivation?
We live in a society that tells us that we must find a way to sustain ourselves, build an accumulation of power, turn our creativity in to profit and be of some help to others. In this same society, there is an overemphasis of intellectualism, “following the herd” mentality and overworking. In this paradigm, there is this created image of success that glamorizes monetary wealth but sacrifices inner spiritual relationship to God and Self. This overexertion can cause one to feel undervalued, overworked and still yet, under-appreciated which of course makes way for one to experience something that many of us abhor – burn-out.
Burn-out literally feels the way it sounds, as previous innocent intention give away to others expectations or requirements of your behavior, work ethic or social responses. We begin to move in ways that we do not quite understand—like saying “yes” just to say “yes” and fearing the repurocutions (sp?) if we were dare utter our “no”. We begin to take jobs that we do not truly enjoy, simply so that we can “pay the mortgage”. We stay in relationships that no longer feed us for fear of being alone and/or undesirable. We pay attention to what others are doing because we don’t trust that we know what’s good for us and we hate ourselves for it. We begin to lie to ourselves about our innermost feelings because if we truly faced our sufferings we feel that we would crumble. Until one day—we do.
This is burn out. It’s the moment where you realize that you have walked way too far along the wrong path and still have not found a way back home. Feet burning, legs aching, you frantically run amuck in circles, searching for a kind place to lie your head, some semblance of peace but find only suffering. And that’s when you realize your suffering comes from a place where you can no longer hide—within yourself.
If you read any of this and began to cringe as if bugs crawled beneath your skin, I want you to know that you are not alone. Many people around the globe feel like this every single day. Many people have felt this way for years and still dragged their feet along a stubborn path to a home they knew was never meant for them. And they pay in their suffering, in their lack of self-worth or self-respect, in their meekness and frailness in spirit. They pay in their lack of and resentment of living.
This is a story we hear all too often. But aren’t you tired of hearing this story? Aren’t you tired of living it? I know I was. Burn out should not be shunned or quietly placed in the back of our pockets or the corners of our mind when we hear its shadows heavy foot steps, but invited in so that it can burn through foundations of a home that was never built on truth. Its fire rekindles a sense of surrender as it strips us away from false illusions and places us into our hearts. And through withstanding the pain of loss; of shame; of guilt; the freedom of truth—we are left to look at the pieces of material left in its dust and make the conscious decision to begin this process of starting anew. Of creating a home built from the vibrations of a child’s innocent laughter; walls painted in the love of our ancestors; brick by brick built from the strength of resilience; protected from prayers in tongue from holy mystics; dripping in the creative and loving spirit of The One.
And I…. well I am your neighbor helping you to put layers of brick upon brick, while sharing beautiful stories of women and men who made it their life’s mission to live well. To live honorably. To be authentic. Listening to your story, I am the one who reminds you that we are beyond our past, actively stitching together old wounds and forgiving ourselves for past ignorance. I am your neighbor sharing from the fruits of my garden, teaching you to plow, tend the soil, plant the seed and water natural life. In the hopes that my fruits and your growing fruits become our fruits sharing with one another recipes of old, basking in the wonderous blessings of living.
Okay, I say interesting and I know many of you may be thinking “how about, horrible”.
Honestly enough, 2020 has been one of the most unpredictable, crazy and amazing years of my life. This year was paved with opportunity for distraction, misinformation, programming and difficulty. But it was also paved with deeper connection, truth, love and assistance. And as I continue to reflect on the lessons in this current stage of my life, I also realize how resiliency has been such an important characteristic to be able to manage during a time like this.
And brace yourself, its only about to get more heated.
However, internally I found myself tuning into a quiet place of solitude, rest and recovery that I’d had previous glimpses of existence. This brought me back to other cycles of my life, where I’d truly learned the meaning of connection. Solitude being a place of restoration for me, where I can put my guard down and confront myself. See myself in its rawest form. I fell in love with what God created. And in this love, I began to choose better for myself. I began to see that who I was is a beautiful result of God’s handiwork. Looking into intricate pieces of how the total came together; how one thought influenced a whole reality, how if one image or symbol changed – it reforms the whole story.
And then come the difficult parts. The witnessing self-sabotaging behavior, your fear, your judgement, your shame. Its okay, we all have it – I do too. These are truths that often we want to ignore in ourselves. But at the place of the wound is the potential and medicine to heal it. This is what is means to have resilience. It means to have the ability to forgive, to bounce back from hurts and most importantly—to move forward.
Resilience requires a bit of faith. It’s the movement that allows for us to fully process stimuli, emotions and stories. It allows for us the benefit of being able to tune into surrender, then flow. And if anything was needed this year, it was to have the ability to flow. To have courage and faith. To try our best and know that sometimes that isn’t good enough. And knowing that that’s okay. To give a helping hand and kind words. To be understanding and patient. To see another smile on another’s face. To fully tune into living and loving. This is what its all about.
So as we close 2020, I pray for each of you the gift of resilience. This year has been a tough one and if you’re reading this than I owe you a congratulations. You graduated.
Now, onto the next level. And for this, resilience will need to be in your toolbelt.
I’ve had many people try to tell me how to best live my life.
I’m glad I didn’t listen to many of them.
While I don’t think that judgment is very beneficial, I do still recognize discernment as a necessary means for spiritual maintenance. In the last post, we spoke of the difference between judgement and discernment. Heart discernment is the propensity to use your own inner intuition to guide you. We each have a natural inclination to our souls unique path— an inner wisdom that guides, nurtures and discerns by helping to decipher what is beneficial to us and what is not. This discernment comes across as a feeling-tone relationship where the individual is directly connected to their heart. This means that our heart may lead us to spaces where others have not been or prevent us from moving forward/making decisions against our best interest.
Heart discernment is important because it enables us to place boundaries. Boundaries empower us to be clear on who we are and what we accept which helps us move through the world freely. A lack thereof boundaries is a sign of poor spiritual hygiene. When we place clear boundaries, we are able to maintain a level of self-respect, wisdom and high vibration. Very often when people discuss being “open”, they neglect to recognize that too much openness leaves room for unwarranted company. And as we each know—all company is not good company. To practice spiritual hygiene means to be able to place boundaries around things that we understand bring lower vibration, lead to hedonism, mindlessness and/or just egoism. There is, however, a fundamental difference between discernment and judgement that allows for continued and deeper spiritual growth—which is humility.
Humility entails the character trait of modesty. To be humble. Practicing humility constitutes a lack of pride that we often are able to witness through judgement; the “I know better than you, so that means you are wrong and/or less than me” perception. With maintaining humility, one is able to understand that though they have a clear picture of their own life— experiences that shaped perspectives, perspectives that support realities—they cannot tell anyone the “correct” way to live because we each have unique conclusions to personal experiences. This means one must take a back seat in another persons reality and give them rightful sovereignty over their decisions. It does not mean that we cannot counsel, we cannot provide wisdom if asked—but we are not attached to our inner wisdom as “being right” because we understand that each individuals unique guidance can be correct even when it sounds different from our own.
Recognize that we have created morals and values each shared by a culmination of socio-cultural standards. But when many us come from different cultural and social backgrounds, which opinion is correct? When we do not give space for each person to speak of their inner and outer experience that may have shaped a perspective, we stunt our own expansion. And in that place of judgement, we further invalidate another persons experience just so that we can validate our own.
Tapping into a greater sense of understanding means that at times we will make decisions and place boundaries that others will not have the wisdom or capacity to understand. But judging another for ignorance, lack of wisdom or even an ego-based consciousness is counterproductive. Not only is it counterproductive but it is also completely egoic. The ego needs to be right so that it can triumph over others. It judgement leads to shame and guilt which can further perpetuate another person into misery, resentment and often times isolation. Then, your own judgements may begin to make others distance themselves and lead you to isolation as opposed to opening the road for deeper connection, intimacy and well, love.
My favorite saying has always been, “if you get quiet enough you will be able to hear God’s guidance”. In this, I reflect that to keep a heart full of God, you must empty yourself. In this emptiness, you do not have the false authority of condemning another, judging another, blaming another. The “other” becomes a blending of yourself; where you recognize their sovereignty and likeness. You are called into a space of providing mercy, forgiveness and humility as opposed to self-righteousness. And just like that haughtiness begins to fall away as you are called into the deepest place of purity. In this purity, you answer to none but the Creator – nurturing the God that lies within, the subtle intuitive nudges, the wise inner voice that leads you along your perfect soul path and further allows you to meet another in their own path as well.
When we truly submit to our Creator’s wisdom, we leave no room for ego. It can not come with us where we are meant to go. And in practicing humility, arrogance becomes a thing of the past while judgment falls away to the recognition of our very own imperfections. When gazing at these extensions of ourselves and witnessing behavior that doesn’t resonate with us, we maintain boundaries still ushering respect and unconditional loving. And in this respect, we give space for another individual to show up exactly as they need to be in that moment. This doesn’t mean that bad behavior is pardoned, but that we do not exalt ourselves for their apparent “bad behavior”— all the while nursing our own inner evils behind closed doors. We are keen to remember our humanness, our fallacy and many times our lack of wisdom that gives space for forgiveness. And in this forgiveness, we can reinforce deeper kindness, mutual respect, and still maintain boundaries for ourselves that preserve a sense of peace without condemning or needing to change another.
The ultimate judgment is left up to the One who Created us. No one on this earth has the right or even ultimate wisdom to judge as if they are All-Knowing, All-Encompassing. In a space where judgement lies with God, we can instead nurture inner wisdom by tuning into what we can discern for ourselves, for our own lives and leave the rest up to The One who manifested creation from absolutely nothing.
Have you ever observed yourself in moments when you are looking at another in disgust, superiority, discrimination?
Judgement entails the need to condemn another for a wrong, a error or misperception. When we truly sit to think about the implications that judgement has, we can become clear on why we often result to it. In many ways, judgment has been useful to us for millennia. Through this we have been able to choose the strongest, most enduring choices, decisions and partners through judging characteristics which has enabled us to live on earth cohabitating will all other forms of life for billions of years. Judgement in survival is useful because it enables us to tune into self-preservation, which is the root for maintaining one’s livelihood. The ego naturally tunes into self-preservation as the first response to maintaining life. And so judgement, has been extremely integral to all of life as a means of regulation, jurisdiction and survival.
In the battle of egoic consciousness, judgment has its pros and cons. Though judgement is beneficial in terms of safety, life or death and self-protection, in excess it becomes a means to further perpetuate egoism which teaches a master class in the idea of separation. What is meant by this is that the ego seeks to maintain a personal identity by separating itself from everything on the “outside”. Think about it – when we see’s items, food, places, people, it witnesses each of these things as “outside”. And more commonly, when the ego perceives God, it also begins to categorize this Being as separate and outside of itself as well.
The ego loves separation because it can then attempt to individualize itself, following its own path in selfishness resulting in bending its will. Never mind being accountable for others or the collective, the ego wants to maintain this separation so that it can preserve the “self”. In this separation, the ego uses numerous tactics to further emphasize its need for self-preservation, greed and independence.
So why does the ego want to remain separate?
This question is one that I ask myself in moments when judgment arises. We often believe that we have all of the right answers with a resulting clinginess to these very understandings because they feel right for us. We will then characterize these heart feelings as “truth” as they become reinforced through behavior and life experiences. The problem with the issue of truth is that, if this lies as a feeling-tone relationship, then one person may have a different feeling of our truth which leads them to one of their own. We are all each different versions of one another, with differing experiences which contribute to the formation of our individual character. This becomes a mercy and a blessing from God who is the ultimate Source and Creator of each of these life and thought forms. But this mercy becomes a detriment when we forget the miracle that life truly was created as.
Judgement comes as a result of witnessing another’s truth and through a lack of resonance in our own being, we reject it. Never mind the fact that that this may be a plausible truth for someone else’s experience, we cannot face the discomfort that often comes with the acknowledgement that we do not have all of the answers. And in being so wrapped up in the egoic need to be right, when another believes something that is contrary to our own, it becomes an attack on our perceived truth.
The most beautiful and intricate trait that God has given humans is the ability to perceive. We have been blessed with the talent of taking in information, applying it to our own previous knowledge, testing that information through new experience and then deciding its validity. In this same way, belief is cultivated through series of logic, experience and blended with faith. But this skill becomes harmful when it allows for us to generate arrogance. When we walk around believing that we know everything, that we are right, we know better than someone else – we place ourselves on the highest pedestal believing to speak for God Himself. If we are each connected to The Creator, then who has more access to Him than another? Who has more right to The Creators knowledge and wisdom for their life’s journey? Are we not all equal in shape, size, worth and form? Who then is more right than the other?
The truth that we each are afraid to acknowledge is that we do not know everything. We truly barely know anything. There are so many answers that we are unsure of and that perhaps we will never have knowledge of. None of us know what is waiting for us when we pass, nevertheless what awaits us the next day. All we can do is follow through with what is true for us, having faith and belief that we are taken care of when we follow our heart. And in this practice of following our hearts, we utilize discernment and connect with higher truths – leading us to a path where everything in our lives begin to seamlessly align.
We do not need all of the answers of the universe, yet if we can use our hearts discernment to tune into what is true for us then we can let go of judgement and see each journey as unique reflections of the One Creator and exist in a space of peace, mutual respect and harmony.
Genuinely Jannah 