When a person commits to recovering from trauma, a holistic assessment and healing of the human psyche are often needed. The human psyche is made up of:
Physical body – Biological and physiological needs such as air, food, water, warmth, sleep, etc.
Conscious/Unconscious mind – Thinking, knowledge, information, reasoning, cognition, understanding, perception and memories
Emotional body – Feelings, emotions, sensations, passions, desires, and experiences
When experiencing trauma, memories are instantly stored in the conscious/unconscious mind and emotional body. The same way our memories have an imprint on us, so do our emotions. Emotions hold information. They are reactions to the deep memories and thoughts about our experiences and its effects. The emotional body is integral because it allows for man to experience his thoughts, memories, and reality in a way that goes deeper than simply thinking. Feelings translate our thoughts and perceptions of reality into the embodiment of experiences: in the first person. In other words, emotions and feelings make our experience one that is personal. Nevertheless, as the human body and mind are interconnected, emotions can determine decision making, thoughts, and behaviors. They ultimately serve as alerts to our psyche with clues and information on things that may harm, help or excite us.
In therapy, the act of conceptualizing, rethinking and logically deciphering traumatic events is essential to healing the conscious mind. In essence, in order to heal from psyche damage, many humans need to logically reason and understand the experiences they’ve had. However, just as important is the emotional body which imprints and stores feelings in the psyche and therefore affects the conscious mind.
For example, one who may have had the occurrence of an absent parent usually reports feeling the emotion of abandonment. Abandonment is a subjective emotional state that is characterized by feelings of insecurity, loss, fear, sadness or undesirability. A child experiencing abandonment often does not have a conscious understanding to make sense of what is they are feeling. In addition to this, the conscious mind is born as protective and will innately react to the negative feeling of fear and shield the child from experiencing that emotion. Therefore this feeling and experience get stored away into both the unconscious mind and the emotional body.
This child will continue to grow up with feelings of inadequacy, being undesirable, fear of loss, sadness, and insecurity. Because the conscious mind was so protective, it would’ve have stored the memory and feeling deep into the unconscious and emotional body, disabling the growing child from being able to cognitively process and experience those negative emotions. What do you think happens next? Yes, in search for healing, the child will then unconsciously seek out situations in which the psyche replays the story of abandonment over and over again.
In order to heal, one must dig into the emotional body and allow for those old emotions to come up in order to be experienced and united. There are various techniques for fostering this integration with one being the meditative practice of “sitting with one’s emotions”. Here is the technique I use for this practice.
Sit comfortably, cross-legged or in a chair with feet planted firmly on the ground
Breathe deeply into both nostrils, in and out
Bring up the memory/core issue that wishes to be explored
Tune into the body as this memory comes up. Ask yourself “What emotion am I feeling?” Take the time to feel this emotion as it courses through your body. Do not try to guide your thoughts or change your emotions. Simply let it take its course.
Now ask “Where in the body is this feeling? What does it feel like?” You are familiarizing yourself with this unique bodily feeling so that you will know what emotion you are experiencing if it comes up again in the future.
Next, ask “Where did I first experience this emotion?” If nothing comes up at this point, that is fine. Sometimes we are unable to remember exactly when we first experienced an emotion. Simply allow for the feeling to come up, in order to experience it.
Say that emotion “I hear you. I am here with you. I support you. You are allowed to feel.”
Reconstruct the memory into what you think you NEEDED at that time in order to feel your best. This will be personal for each person, so allow for your feelings to guide you and not your conscious mind. Your emotional body knows best what it needs.
Healing the emotional body does not happen in one sitting. Many people are unaware of the fact that there are years of emotional trauma that must be experienced, healed and integrated. Take all the time you need to foster this union. Healing is a journey that one must take for the course of their life not a single destination.
Have you ever felt depleted or burnt out from being a little too social?
I love people. I enjoy my work, I love my friends, my family, I love laughing and creating memories. But being around many people for extended periods of time also really drains the hell out of me. While I’m able to enjoy being present, engaged and charismatic in social groups, I’m also cognizant of the constant need for grounding and solitude that plights me each time I interact extensively with another person.
It’s actually quite common to lose energy from being around people for extended periods of time. While everyone is admittedly unique in their own way, this phenomenon often gets categorized into ‘introversion’. To add to that, being a highly-sensitive person also comes with the caveat of also being sensitive to feeling others energy, emotions or tension. As a result of being so open to life experiences and emotions, it can often be quite overwhelming if one is unable to ground themselves.
In social situations, the brain is stimulated and dopamine gets released. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which helps regulate the brain’s pleasure and reward system. It is also linked to the sympathetic side of the nervous system, which puts us in a state of full throttle or “fight or flight”. ‘Extroverts’, in particular, have a more active dopamine reward network so they need more dopamine in order to feel pleasure. Introverts, however, don’t need much stimuli in order to experience excitement or pleasure. In fact, when dopamine gets flooded into their brain and the body responds to excitement they also feel quite overwhelmed!
The most interesting part of this is that the ‘introvert brain’ is more favorable to another neurotransmitter that is linked to the brain’s pleasure center, called acetylcholine. Acetylcholine is linked to the parasympathetic side which is responsible for “rest and relaxation”. So how do introverts thrive and receive the most pleasure in their daily life? Turning inward, being quiet, in solitude and relaxed. This is key to understand because introverts are not stealing away moments of silence or solitude because their loved ones are intolerable to hang around. Alone time is simply what they need in order to recharge.
While I adore being around my loved ones sometimes I need space to feel all of my own energy. It is important to cultivate a balanced routine in which one is able to experience the love, laughter, and joy their social network/connections bring but also pull back enough to recharge and restore. The best way we can serve others is by pouring love, rest and care into ourselves first. So go ahead; take a couple of hours of silence and enjoy the energy others are eagerly expecting you to bring to their presence. If you don’t show up for yourself, how can you for anyone else?
Have you ever experienced a moment in which there was nothing to change, nothing to worry about? As I prepared my goals for the 2019 year, three themes stood out to me as the most important. The cultivation of ease was at the top of that list. Ironically, as January goes on and I am given moments of complete rest and ease, my ego searches to find issues or faults that need rectifying.
As frustrating as it is, this phenomenon is not at all uncommon. Research has shown the effects of habitual stress on the brain and body. Chronic stress affects the nervous system which is responsible for the “flight or fight” response. When a person is stressed, the body shifts is energy toward running from an enemy or fighting a threat. Usually, when the threat is gone the body returns to an unstressed state. However, if a person is afflicted with chronic stress their body will constantly be in “flight or flight” mode.
In particular, chronic stress causes the muscles in the body to be in a constant state of guardedness. When a person has endured chronic stress, the brain signals to the endocrine system to increase the levels of cortisol- which is responsible for giving us energy fuel. With this being understood, it is clear to see how chronic stress has a long-term effect on the body. Because of a constant overproduction of cortisol, when you experience a moment of ease and stillness, your brain and body is still gearing up for the next attack- even if there isn’t any! Don’t fret too much however, this phenomenon is completely fixable.
After recognizing why I was unable to relax, then came the solution. As supported by research, meditation is effective in calming down the nervous system and decreasing stress. In moments where one is overthinking, worrying and experiencing stress, carving out 15-20 minutes for meditation is pivotal in the way that it fosters space for relaxation. Ease is less about not having any stressful moments but accepting stress, acknowledging that there is nothing to fear/fight, breathing slowly/relaxing muscles and then surrendering into that moment.
To experience ease is simply to surrender. In order to encourage relaxation, one has to practice surrendering all thoughts, beliefs, and emotions- no matter how intrusive they may be. We are all beautifully flawed humans and its time we’ve allowed ourselves to be. When we sink into this state of allowing, surrendering, then we have truly mastered the art of cultivating ease.
And it’s through this allowing when wonderful things begin to happen.
Genuinely Jannah 