The Psychology Behind Manifestation

red and white lighthouse on land — Photo by Tom Swinnen on Pexels.com

Its that time of year again. In between making plans for holiday events, running around searching for that perfect gift and figuring out what the hell your new year’s resolutions are this year- taking the time to sow seeds for the new year can seem damned-near impossible.

In lieu of this new age spirituality, talk of “manifesting your dreams into reality” has become extremely mainstream. The idea of manifestation and law of attraction is that by focusing on negative or positive thoughts the universe will bring corresponding negative or positive experiences into one’s existence. While this idea seems harmless enough, many people have trouble believing in it because it has little to no scientific research to back it up. However, in purely psychological terms, it is not uncommon to believe that one’s perception creates their reality.

One interpretation of this personal perception is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-fulfilling prophecy is when our beliefs and expectations influence our behavior at the subconscious level. When this happens, our subconscious actually enables us to act out our beliefs and therefore, bring them into existence. In fact, in a study done by Pantich, D. & Jones, S.C (1971) they found that there is a tendency for individuals to act in a certain way to fulfill their prophecies or beliefs even when it comes to other people. In this particular study, in showing mutual attraction toward a stranger, person A would display positive actions according to their personal thoughts and beliefs that person B liked them. What did the results show? Well, results displayed that person B often would have more positive general feelings toward their partners! This resulted in both partners reporting that they had mutual increases in their personal evaluation of likeability in one another.

The key to understanding this phenomenon is that manifestation is a battle of both the mind and the action. It is imperative to have positive beliefs first because these beliefs affect your perception and then consequently, your actions. When your actions reinforce your beliefs these then turn into self-fulfilling prophecies or as we call it nowadays- manifestations.

So as mentioned in the beginning, it is the end of the year and the perfect time to sow the seeds for a positive, hopeful outlook on the new year. However, it’s not just enough to set goals and hope for the best. In order for your dreams to turn into reality, it helps for you to alter your belief system and perceptions around attaining them. As time has proven over and over again, change is an inside job first and then transmutes outward last.

Here are some tips on manifesting your best year yet:

Ask yourself: “what disabling beliefs am I holding about attaining my goals and dreams?”

You cannot manifest anything if you hold beliefs that are inevitably self-sabotaging your dreams. You need to assess if you are holding any disabling or negative beliefs about what you want to accomplish before you attempt to make your dreams into reality. Clear out your blocks first, then space will open up for newness to blossom next.

What enabling beliefs do I wish to replace the disabling ones with?

After going in and plucking all of those negative beliefs and ideas from its roots, take the time to replace them with new ones that will enable you to manifest the life that you desire.

How do I want my next year to feel?

It’s helpful to provide imagery of your perfect life, however, lasting results comes from being able to feel in your body what you want your experience to be. How do you feel when you are at your best – when you drop all identities and you are at your rawest, unfiltered, divine self? Maryam Hasnaa calls this feeling your home frequency. When you master naming this feeling, you are able to create situations you know is in alignment with YOUR truth.

For this, it helps to sit in meditation and envision imagery of your ideal self and life. Take notice of how your body feels. Does this imagery make you feel good? Do you feel happy? Is your heart pleased with this? Does it feel in alignment with your best-self, your truth? This is step is key for future reference because if the feeling in your body is in alignment or contradictory to the feeling you want to create, you will know because you’ve already studied what your home frequency is.

What steps will I take to make this next year feel like this?

After you study and master what your home frequency is, begin to create experiences that allow for you to embody that frequency. This is where you lay out the personal steps you will take in order to honor your truest self, purpose and divine nature.

As many psychologists and scientists have proven, reality is a construct that is filtered through one’s personal perception. So remember: mastering your reality will always begin with mastering yourself.

References: Panitch, D. Jones, S.C. The self-fulfilling prophecy and interpersonal attraction. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Volume 7, Issue 3. 1971.Pages 356-366. ISSN 0022-1031. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-1031(71)90034-5.

The embodiment of truth

white ceramic cup — Photo by Saif Selim on Pexels.com

Most days I’m contemplating my purpose

“What fulfills me,

what makes me want to get out of bed each day”

Is it that morning cup of tea?

The one filled with fresh leaves and medicinal herbs to match

Or perhaps it’s the silence that fills the morning air

Gazing at the sun as it rises up behind the clouds

Is it that first moment I hear my voice

Rumbling with power, making its presence known

Or maybe its moments that are filled with ease;

Where the wind is so still, I can hear God clearly

Nursing my cup of tea with tears streaming down my face

Feeling the One’s sweet caress in the depths of my being

Oh, and what of that morning stretch!

Spreading out my limbs until they can go no further

…Then coaxing them to spread just a little more

Making room for newness, taking up space I am owed

Pondering: “What fulfills me?”

What enables me to continue?

Is it the times I sit at my desk and let words fly from my heart onto paper

Praying that each sentence makes sense

Praying it is coherent

That others can feel the words I speak

Or will be moved by the words that move me

What fulfills me?

What makes life worth living?

I’ll admit,

Connection, purpose, love, and divinity is all that I seek

But whilst I continue on this endless search;

Living countess lifetimes, enduring a thousand deaths

At the end of my journey, I ascertain that it never was about finding

But was simply awakening,

Remembering,

And finally embodying

Self-compassion and change

nature red forest leaves — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So, you didn’t get that job or apartment that you wanted and now, you have a collection of reneged offers, rejection letters, and acquired hopelessness. We’ve all been there. You’re in the process of a huge transition and receiving bad news doesn’t make the change any easier. “Is this meant to be? Should I keep going?” you may ask yourself. Life surely doesn’t promise us immediate happiness and success, however, it does promise that it will change. Constantly.

Life transitions can foster fear, unease and discomfort. As an emerging adult, I can personally attest to this rollercoaster of a transition into adulthood. My main take away from the wisdom adulthood brings is: life will often be confusing and unstructured. In a nutshell, life will bring many necessary times of transformation, which can often bring about — yes, you guessed it — stress.

So here is the big question; what can we do to ease stress? Research shows that the main supporters for managing stress is optimism and self-compassion. Nevertheless, positive self-talk in the form of self-compassion and self-kindness reportedly increases well-being and decreases stress (Neely et al., 2009). Brisette et al. (2002) also reports that greater optimism leads to greater use of active coping, planning and positive reinterpretation and growth.

Here are some tips that may be helpful in fostering self-compassion and optimism throughout stressful transitions:

Life is unpredictable, accept it: We’ve already discussed that life is vastly unpredictable and tools to cope with that unpredictability. Acceptance of unpredictability allows for one to let go of the illusion of control. With this, we allow ourselves space to experience variability throughout life transitions instead of judging or berating ourselves when things don’t go as planned.

Compulsive negative thinking vastly affects productivity, motivation, and outcome: Negative thinking is normal, however compulsive negative thinking without correction can be detrimental. Practices of judgment and resistance of one’s negative thoughts often result in a greater internal struggle. It is essential to give yourself self-compassion. By using the practice of self-compassion in our self-talk, we allow ourselves to be human. Express doubts, actively observe w/o judgment and finally, apply empathy to the parts of yourself that are speaking out of fear. Often, fearful and negative thoughts represent a part of ourselves that want to protect us from suffering or disappointment. Send that part some compassion and reassurance. It is perfectly okay to be afraid; it’s apart of the process.

Use your failures as leverage: You’ve had 4 interviews within the last month and didn’t land any of those jobs. Perhaps now you feel frustrated and hopeless? That’s okay. Give yourself space to feel these emotions. Then, use those failures as leverage. Does your resume need tailoring to fit the job? Were you asking engaging questions to your interviewer? Can you create a portfolio of your creations and accomplishments? It’s important to allow room for failure because these failures (while they may suck) allow us to learn from and rectify mistakes that we have made. Every failure is a lesson — use it as such.

Be realistic: Its great to be positive and to believe that things will always work out for us, but using discernment is just as important. Knowing and understanding our boundaries is a pivotal lesson in self-care. Don’t ignore real difficulties with the hope that everything will go perfectly. Take precautions and move with calculated intelligence. That too is a huge part of embodying mature optimism.

Cultivate hope and faith: Faith and hope are two things that are essential in maintaining optimism. Do you have a belief in something or someone higher than yourself? Can you ask this being to strengthen you in hope and faith? Can you, for one second, visualize a better you? Who would you be? How would you get there? This is your life. You have all of the cards in your hand to create a better (or worse) future for yourself. Hope is a choice. It takes courage to wish and focus on goodness when the cards you’ve been dealt are the worst. But perhaps a bit of courage is all that one needs to move out from the rain of the storm into the warmth of the shelter.

References:

Arnett, J. J. (2015). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Brissette, I., Scheier, M. F., & Carver, C. S. (2002). The role of optimism in social network development, coping, and psychological adjustment during a life transition. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(1), 102–111.

Neely, M.E., Schallert, D.L., Mohammed, S.S. et al. Motiv Emot (2009) Self-kindness when facing stress: The role of self-compassion, goal regulation, and support in college students’ well-being. 88. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-008-9119-8

Tales of Remembrance

action adventure aerial aerial shot — Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

Some days I’m torn

Struggling to keep myself above high tides

Pulling and tugging me deep into the depths

And though I never learned how to swim

The One has taught me how to move my arms,

To paddle and kick my legs

To come up for air

To cry for help

To call out to Him

Until a wave bigger than I can save myself from

Plunges me into the depths I’ve been fighting

Forcing me underneath the rush of water

Filling my lungs with salty liquid

Until I can hardly breathe

And darkness is all that I know

But… miraculously I grow fins

Scales on my arms, gills around my throat

I open my eyes and take in a fresh breath

Transformation embedded, Newness engulfing me

And The One laughs at my ignorance;

Why struggle to fight the tides that inevitably nurture you?

Bringing us back to wholeness

We have forgotten our core, our essence, our home

But luckily the waves are quick to remind us

No matter how much we struggle, how much we try to control

Letting go has the scary feeling of chaos;

Fear.

Death.

Surrender.

And then finally, bliss.

Love letters to Heaven…

blank bloom blossom close up — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

You are the light of my life. You are strong. So beautiful- inside and out. I love you for your resilience. I love you for your depths. You look to see, to feel, to know the core of every soul that you meet. For that, I am grateful. You often have a million things on your mind, tasks to complete, people to help and you are unsure of where to begin. At times this keeps you from starting anywhere at all. Do not let the fear of not being good enough, not being heard keep you from accepting who you are today. Time inevitably makes you recreate yourself over and over again. Remember, nothing in this life is fixed. Things are constantly moving, constantly changing. You are unsure of what tomorrow holds – you barely even know what will unfold today. That is okay. Leave the future up to God. It is His work to do and His only. Continue to pray; even when things are at its best. Continue to imagine and dream because The One knows you are a powerful creator and your thoughts can come to fruition. You are a co-creator with the Master of this Universe. That in itself is a gift that He has given to you. Continue to work. Even when no one gives you credit. You have God-given gifts, talents and although you know you have them, others may not see it in you. That doesn’t matter either – as long as you see it in yourself.

You are something special and everyone who knows you knows IT. From that seductive look in your eyes to your big hair, your long eyelashes and tiny frame to your soothing soul and big heart- yes love, you are special indeed. A gift from the God above, proof that He is real. Proof that He is good. Proof that He is love. And you came from Him so you are love as well. This can never be stolen from you. It is your essence. Even when others tell you how wrong you are. Even when you doubt or you question. Truth, often cannot be understood from the mouth but felt in the heart. It lies in between the heavens and the earth. In God’s knowing. So you are love. And love is you. And there is no separation, only the one that you perceive which is your greatest error. You are a creator. You are a writer. A healer. A lover. A daughter. A sister. An auntie. A best friend. A teacher. A student. You are whole. You are here. You are. And I’m so blessed that I get to play this role of you in this lifetime and hopefully into the next.