I’ve had many people try to tell me how to best live my life.

I’m glad I didn’t listen to many of them.

While I don’t think that judgment is very beneficial, I do still recognize discernment as a necessary means for spiritual maintenance. In the last post, we spoke of the difference between judgement and discernment. Heart discernment is the propensity to use your own inner intuition to guide you. We each have a natural inclination to our souls unique path— an inner wisdom that guides, nurtures and discerns by helping to decipher what is beneficial to us and what is not. This discernment comes across as a feeling-tone relationship where the individual is directly connected to their heart. This means that our heart may lead us to spaces where others have not been or prevent us from moving forward/making decisions against our best interest.

Heart discernment is important because it enables us to place boundaries. Boundaries empower us to be clear on who we are and what we accept which helps us move through the world freely. A lack thereof boundaries is a sign of poor spiritual hygiene. When we place clear boundaries, we are able to maintain a level of self-respect, wisdom and high vibration. Very often when people discuss being “open”, they neglect to recognize that too much openness leaves room for unwarranted company. And as we each know—all company is not good company. To practice spiritual hygiene means to be able to place boundaries around things that we understand bring lower vibration, lead to hedonism, mindlessness and/or just egoism. There is, however, a fundamental difference between discernment and judgement that allows for continued and deeper spiritual growth—which is humility.  

Humility entails the character trait of modesty. To be humble. Practicing humility constitutes a lack of pride that we often are able to witness through judgement; the “I know better than you, so that means you are wrong and/or less than me” perception. With maintaining humility, one is able to understand that though they have a clear picture of their own life— experiences that shaped perspectives, perspectives that support realities—they cannot tell anyone the “correct” way to live because we each have unique conclusions to personal experiences. This means one must take a back seat in another persons reality and give them rightful sovereignty over their decisions. It does not mean that we cannot counsel, we cannot provide wisdom if asked—but we are not attached to our inner wisdom as “being right” because we understand that each individuals unique guidance can be correct even when it sounds different from our own.  

Recognize that we have created morals and values each shared by a culmination of socio-cultural standards. But when many us come from different cultural and social backgrounds, which opinion is correct? When we do not give space for each person to speak of their inner and outer experience that may have shaped a perspective, we stunt our own expansion. And in that place of judgement, we further invalidate another persons experience just so that we can validate our own. 

Tapping into a greater sense of understanding means that at times we will make decisions and place boundaries that others will not have the wisdom or capacity to understand. But judging another for ignorance, lack of wisdom or even an ego-based consciousness is counterproductive. Not only is it counterproductive but it is also completely egoic. The ego needs to be right so that it can triumph over others. It judgement leads to shame and guilt which can further perpetuate another person into misery, resentment and often times isolation. Then, your own judgements may begin to make others distance themselves and lead you to isolation as opposed to opening the road for deeper connection, intimacy and well, love. 

My favorite saying has always been, “if you get quiet enough you will be able to hear God’s guidance”. In this, I reflect that to keep a heart full of God, you must empty yourself. In this emptiness, you do not have the false authority of condemning another, judging another, blaming another. The “other” becomes a blending of yourself; where you recognize their sovereignty and likeness. You are called into a space of providing mercy, forgiveness and humility as opposed to self-righteousness. And just like that haughtiness begins to fall away as you are called into the deepest place of purity. In this purity, you answer to none but the Creator – nurturing the God that lies within, the subtle intuitive nudges, the wise inner voice that leads you along your perfect soul path and further allows you to meet another in their own path as well.

When we truly submit to our Creator’s wisdom, we leave no room for ego. It can not come with us where we are meant to go. And in practicing humility, arrogance becomes a thing of the past while judgment falls away to the recognition of our very own imperfections. When gazing at these extensions of ourselves and witnessing behavior that doesn’t resonate with us, we maintain boundaries still ushering respect and unconditional loving. And in this respect, we give space for another individual to show up exactly as they need to be in that moment. This doesn’t mean that bad behavior is pardoned, but that we do not exalt ourselves for their apparent “bad behavior”— all the while nursing our own inner evils behind closed doors. We are keen to remember our humanness, our fallacy and many times our lack of wisdom that gives space for forgiveness. And in this forgiveness, we can reinforce deeper kindness, mutual respect, and still maintain boundaries for ourselves that preserve a sense of peace without condemning or needing to change another.

The ultimate judgment is left up to the One who Created us. No one on this earth has the right or even ultimate wisdom to judge as if they are All-Knowing, All-Encompassing. In a space where judgement lies with God, we can instead nurture inner wisdom by tuning into what we can discern for ourselves, for our own lives and leave the rest up to The One who manifested creation from absolutely nothing.

This is heart discernment.

Have you ever observed yourself in moments when you are looking at another in disgust, superiority, discrimination?

Judgement entails the need to condemn another for a wrong, a error or misperception. When we truly sit to think about the implications that judgement has, we can become clear on why we often result to it. In many ways, judgment has been useful to us for millennia. Through this we have been able to choose the strongest, most enduring choices, decisions and partners through judging characteristics which has enabled us to live on earth cohabitating will all other forms of life for billions of years. Judgement in survival is useful because it enables us to tune into self-preservation, which is the root for maintaining one’s livelihood. The ego naturally tunes into self-preservation as the first response to maintaining life. And so judgement, has been extremely integral to all of life as a means of regulation, jurisdiction and survival.

In the battle of egoic consciousness, judgment has its pros and cons. Though judgement is beneficial in terms of safety, life or death and self-protection, in excess it becomes a means to further perpetuate egoism which teaches a master class in the idea of separation. What is meant by this is that the ego seeks to maintain a personal identity by separating itself from everything on the “outside”. Think about it – when we see’s items, food, places, people, it witnesses each of these things as “outside”. And more commonly, when the ego perceives God, it also begins to categorize this Being as separate and outside of itself as well.

The ego loves separation because it can then attempt to individualize itself, following its own path in selfishness resulting in bending its will. Never mind being accountable for others or the collective, the ego wants to maintain this separation so that it can preserve the “self”. In this separation, the ego uses numerous tactics to further emphasize its need for self-preservation, greed and independence. 

So why does the ego want to remain separate?

This question is one that I ask myself in moments when judgment arises. We often believe that we have all of the right answers with a resulting clinginess to these very understandings because they feel right for us. We will then characterize these heart feelings as “truth” as they become reinforced through behavior and life experiences. The problem with the issue of truth is that, if this lies as a feeling-tone relationship, then one person may have a different feeling of our truth which leads them to one of their own. We are all each different versions of one another, with differing experiences which contribute to the formation of our individual character. This becomes a mercy and a blessing from God who is the ultimate Source and Creator of each of these life and thought forms. But this mercy becomes a detriment when we forget the miracle that life truly was created as. 

Judgement comes as a result of witnessing another’s truth and through a lack of resonance in our own being, we reject it. Never mind the fact that that this may be a plausible truth for someone else’s experience, we cannot face the discomfort that often comes with the acknowledgement that we do not have all of the answers. And in being so wrapped up in the egoic need to be right, when another believes something that is contrary to our own, it becomes an attack on our perceived truth. 

The most beautiful and intricate trait that God has given humans is the ability to perceive. We have been blessed with the talent of taking in information, applying it to our own previous knowledge, testing that information through new experience and then deciding its validity. In this same way, belief is cultivated through series of logic, experience and blended with faith. But this skill becomes harmful when it allows for us to generate arrogance. When we walk around believing that we know everything, that we are right, we know better than someone else – we place ourselves on the highest pedestal believing to speak for God Himself. If we are each connected to The Creator, then who has more access to Him than another? Who has more right to The Creators knowledge and wisdom for their life’s journey? Are we not all equal in shape, size, worth and form? Who then is more right than the other?

The truth that we each are afraid to acknowledge is that we do not know everything. We truly barely know anything. There are so many answers that we are unsure of and that perhaps we will never have knowledge of. None of us know what is waiting for us when we pass, nevertheless what awaits us the next day. All we can do is follow through with what is true for us, having faith and belief that we are taken care of when we follow our heart. And in this practice of following our hearts, we utilize discernment and connect with higher truths – leading us to a path where everything in our lives begin to seamlessly align.

We do not need all of the answers of the universe, yet if we can use our hearts discernment to tune into what is true for us then we can let go of judgement and see each journey as unique reflections of the One Creator and exist in a space of peace, mutual respect and harmony.

Regardless of so called “differences”.

| 10-30-20 • 11:31a

Dissolving Illusions

———
Lest I pass in this space
Moments in silence
Never to be replaced
When witnessing becomes purpose
Grass seeping into molecules
And loose tendrils across your scalp
Earthy palate resting upon tiny nodes of taste
Remembrance being my name
When waves blend into the wind
And you’d not conceived of the difference
Were it not for words on a paper
In consciousness separating through sound form
Is it that we play this game because remembrance means bliss?
Do we get wrapped up in time because infinity seems too boring?
Questioning egoic separation
When separation is derived from suffering
Error laden on taut shoulders
Until we begin to forget ourselves
But in moments where ego can begin to observe itself–
Desires, goals, vices, judgments, dislikes
Each impressionable markings creating character
There is One unchangeable variable throughout stories
In being that which is written must be Created
Creation deriving from One Source embodying all
All posing as mirrors of expert artistry
Light as a feather as each flow on top of crashing waves
Treading gently, merging infinitely
As the droplet evokes remembrance
And once again returns to the ocean

If there’s one thing you consider today
When God feels far
Just remember
That you truly never left.

10-09-20 | 08:37am

Early on in my life I ascertained that I’d decided that I wanted to be as carefully calculated as I could. Carefully calculated meaning that I could warrant some semblance of control over my life – pick the perfect career, nurture loving friendships, work within my field of passion. In reflection, I’d say that I’ve done much to maintain this sense of control. Letting go of things I’d felt were a hinderance to my path, I moved with calculating and meticulous selfishness in order to conquer and achieve my goals. And yet somehow still found that this wasn’t enough.

Human plight is actually quite comical. Egos fight with one another for the reclamation of power, wanting control over each and every circumstance in its path. It wants money, power, women/men, children, property. Or perhaps recognition, fame, to be seen and witnessed. The ego climbs the ladder looking for more and more and even when the ladder ends it begins to pull from the former steps building new ones so that it can climb again.

When climbing ladders, it is rare that we pause to truly gaze at our surroundings. Enamored with the promise of triumph and possibly bewildered with fear, we understand that the ladder is only means to an end, so we climb up faithfully never checking to tune in with fresh surroundings of new heights. At this point in my life, with all that I have accomplished, I reflect on the solemn reality that prestige, power and material things will never fulfill me. I’ve made prayers and asked for things only God could deliver and assuredly, my life is a testament to His word in delivery. But the moment calls for us to pause the climb and bask in His blessings during a time where it would seem few are blessed.

But this morning, I’ve woken up to birds chirping in North Carolina winds. A roof over my head, food in my belly from the night before, a cup of tea waiting on the coffee table before me. I’ve had the ability to feel remorse at missing my morning prayer and a longing for communion with my Creator. I’m surrounded by loved ones who whisper prayers of abundance, blessing and safety over me as I venture along this new journey of being still. I have a keyboard to write words that may not sound exquisitely poetic but remain dear to my being as reflections of the truth I exist in.

Blessings are very apparent and simple when we are able to tune into their presence. Our Creator has given us an insurmountable amount of things to be gracious for, if only we’d stop to reflect on the simplest of things. And those simple things bring forth a reverence for nature constantly moving in perfect design, allowing us to take in fresh breaths each morning thankful for our hearts steady beating.

At this pause upon the ladder, I’m taking careful time to find God in everything and everyone so that living does not become about what the world can offer to me or even what I can offer it; but how everything we need is already given. It’s here; right now. And in this awareness, living stems from a place of wholeness where the relationship becomes unconditionally loving, reciprocal and revered. Where one sees God in the whole and treats it as so. Moving through living with love, kindness, patience and gratitude.

There is no place that we are arriving, nothing that we are seeking. Everything that we need is already here, the gamble is practicing enough mindfulness and presence to tune into that. Every day we have the choice of how we perceive our reality. And that choice will either place us in a mental Hell or allow us to walk forward into the Kingdom of Heaven.

So, what will you choose today?

Welcome to Day One of the Wild Woman’s Road Trip