
It is not my job to take on anyone else’s energy.
It is not my job to shift or transmute anyone’s energy.
People are responsible for their own feelings.
People are responsible for creating their own reality.
People are responsible for their own energy.
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I come from a background of being highly sensitive to perceived conflict, disruption and/or anger. I would often find that I’d brace myself for blows of complaints, negative emotion or blame as an attempt to calm down my nervous system & “keep the peace”. To be deeply affected by someone else’s energy often felt like an attack on my own and I found it hard to remain impartial to the force of other people’s emotions. It didn’t matter whether they were happy or upset, I careful observed the “energy” of the person, assessing their current state of emotions so that I could perceive whether or not my emotional well-being was in threat of being compromised.
In some ways, this can be helpful because the ability to be deeply empathetic enables us to share intimacy with others. However, the shadow side of empathy is enmeshment and codependency—where we are unable to remain grounded in our own body, our own energy due to being affected by the force of someone else’s. Or perhaps we rush to “save” someone stating that we just want to serve others at the sacrifice of our own well-being. This often causes us to become overwhelmed, isolate or (in my own personal case), people please. In truth, this complex is a dishonor to embodying our own energy and remaining in our power.
As a counselor, I deal with peoples emotions everyday. I’m getting to a place in my life where I am able to observe other people’s emotions and distance them from my own. To take on someone else’s energy with an attempt to change it can often be..well quite honestly narcissistic. In reality we have no power to change someone else’s emotions. We have no power to transmute someone’s individual energy. That is a job left up to that individual and God. The times are gone where we are overly responsible or taking accountability for someone else’s feelings. Or perhaps picking up someone else’s baggage, just praying to save them. But reality is, saving someone else won’t help you to save yourself. Each person is responsible for themselves. Their pain is not yours to fix, to transmute. And that, at least for me is a breath of relief. Because with letting this go, I can focus on my energy, my path and unapologetically embodying my joy. And others can meet me on that path with their own.



