Healing as a Community Effort

My Home

One of the biggest core wounds I’ve had to heal is doubting myself. Perhaps, it stems from generational trauma: a burden earned from my identity as a Black Muslim woman in North America. I can remember from the time I began grade school that I had in innate need to excel. And this need was driven by a passion to be accepted, to be validated in ways that perhaps my ancestors could not have for themselves. My mother would constantly remind: “You have to work three times just as hard as the next person. Why? You are black, you are Muslim and you are a woman. You are the most hated thing this country has ever seen but never let that deter you from your destiny.”

Memories like these haunt me as I sit in spaces of people dripping of privilege. While I cannot deny my own privilege (having the means and intellect to read, write and work in well-known and established institutions), I cannot deny the trauma experienced from having my hopes and dreams seemingly mitigated by shields of disadvantage. And believe me: I am not the only one. What say you of those whom have been wrongfully incarcerated; having their rights stripped away? What say you of working-class families, whose parents did not have the opportunity to send their children to private schools, colleges and universities? Or immigrant families, forced from their homes into a spaces where they are unwelcomed, ostracized from society as the “other”. We live in a society that separates us not only by color, but by class through means of mental acuity, physique and economic standing.

For those of us whom are deeply empathetic to the struggles of others, we often ask ourselves “what can I do to help”? Its quite admirable honestly; even with our own innate feelings of unworthiness, we still stand for others. But even this can be a trap. How can one untether themselves from their own trauma through fighting for anothers? I must be candid and ask- who will stand and fight for yours? Nevertheless, it is often through this cyclical cycle of seeking healing externally that God grants us the wisdom to finally be able forgive ourselves in ways that we never could before. Our stories are just stories: a culmination of memories, experiences and perceptions all charged with the task of bringing us to your depths. Of helping us understand ourselves. And perhaps…perhaps through this revelation, one finds the strength to look in the mirror and accept who they see. Beautifully so, as time has proven through hearing each others stories, staring at familiar and unfamiliar faces and images, visiting spaces that reminds of us of home, reflecting on the uniqueness of each of our stories—we somehow find healing.

I don’t claim to know everything, in fact I believe that I barely know anything at all. But what I am sure of is that through seeing the humanity of one another, we build systems of healing. I know that through supporting works derived from intrinsic truths, we project strength that allows for others to stand in their own authenticity. I’ve witnessed how beautifully and intricately interconnected we are to one another and how this connection is proof in a greater Divine being that ties us all together.

We all have healing to do. We have generations of trauma, of withstanding pain, of quietly allowing injustice to breed resentment within our being. From these passions given to us from The One we are called to a higher purpose of embodying the righteous qualities that exists within God Himself. We are called to a higher purpose of breaking illusions–helping one another, being kind, reminding one another who we truly are. We are called to a higher purpose of experiencing this existence. Of experiencing humanness, of experiencing Him. Be sure that your experience is one that is well-worth the journey.

 

In Stillness with The One

cloudiness clouds cloudy daylight
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At times–

I’m not sure how I get there,

Unsure of where I end

Or where He begins

I just know that He lies inside

Waiting to be discovered

In truth: He is a part of me

And I, derived from Him

There is no separation–

There is no loss

In the midst of quiet

Or as the birds continue chirping,

the rustling of the wind through leaves,

tree’s that sustain my being

I breathe in heavens air

Attaining the smallest taste of The One

Filled with awe and amazement–

My ego is stunned, only able to whisper

“I know. I worship. I love,

Know. Worship. Love

Knowing. Worshiping. Love”

God. The One. The Truth.

That moment when I settle into my being

And my heart is filled to its contents

My eyes, wet with tears

Filled with ease, joy, and love

All I can taste on the flesh of my lips

The One. The One. The One.

At times

I swear… I’m astounded that I’m allowed to get here

When I’m not sure where I end

Or where He begins

All I know;

All I worship;

All I love;

The One–

For in you is where I find my remembrance

The Greatest Gift of All

red and white gift box with ribbon bow
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This morning as I sat in my bed

I reflected upon what I wanted to ask of God;

Made a list of things to inquire

Boy, was my mind filled with glee at the things I longed to have

“God, deliver to me a car–black, shiny and beautiful

Or perhaps flowers…yeah, a lush and abundant garden,

filled with herbs, vegetables, and fruit of diverse assortment

Oh God, bring me a wondrous family!

Connections and intimacy flowing with love, laughter, and divinity

Though wait…what of my job?

Oh yes, please give me a career that I LOVE

Receiving wealth through my creations!”

And as the list carries on and on

I know by His infinite abundance and Mercy– He gives

But satisfaction evades me

Even after receiving what I prayed for

So…a new list is made: this time longer, more specific

Nevertheless, The One gives

For He is the one who hears and replies with bounty

And still, satisfaction escapes me

Have I asked for too much?

Maybe I did not ask for the right things?

Spent with exhaustion and confusion

I lay on the ground, basking in stillness

Letting my ego wander as it creates bigger lists,

Images of what may satisfy me

Releasing tension and exhaustion

Breathing through each spent muscle

Finally, she stills

A small voice whispers “…Are you there?”

“This life is full of glitter and gold,

And while The One is The best of givers, The most Compassionate

I truly long for contentment,

Ease, love and peace”

Things are things and can be stolen

Sold, cheapened or broken

But peace is acquired,

A gift that can be experienced in any circumstance;

In poverty, richness, aloneness or company

A gift that many of us lack,

Misunderstand or comprehend how to attain

So, The One…

Thank you for all that you have given

Thank you for continuing to give

I am humbled, full of gratitude

Today, I do not desire objects that only exaggerate emptiness

But for the endowment of true knowing,

Unwavering peace of mind,

Purity of heart,

And most importantly– ease

The home in which all hearts truly seek