The Psychology Behind Manifestation

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Its that time of year again. In between making plans for holiday events, running around searching for that perfect gift and figuring out what the hell your new year’s resolutions are this year- taking the time to sow seeds for the new year can seem damned-near impossible.

In lieu of this new age spirituality, talk of “manifesting your dreams into reality” has become extremely mainstream. The idea of manifestation and law of attraction is that by focusing on negative or positive thoughts the universe will bring corresponding negative or positive experiences into one’s existence. While this idea seems harmless enough, many people have trouble believing in it because it has little to no scientific research to back it up. However, in purely psychological terms, it is not uncommon to believe that one’s perception creates their reality.

One interpretation of this personal perception is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-fulfilling prophecy is when our beliefs and expectations influence our behavior at the subconscious level. When this happens, our subconscious actually enables us to act out our beliefs and therefore, bring them into existence. In fact, in a study done by Pantich, D. & Jones, S.C (1971) they found that there is a tendency for individuals to act in a certain way to fulfill their prophecies or beliefs even when it comes to other people. In this particular study, in showing mutual attraction toward a stranger, person A would display positive actions according to their personal thoughts and beliefs that person B liked them. What did the results show? Well, results displayed that person B often would have more positive general feelings toward their partners! This resulted in both partners reporting that they had mutual increases in their personal evaluation of likeability in one another.

The key to understanding this phenomenon is that manifestation is a battle of both the mind and the action. It is imperative to have positive beliefs first because these beliefs affect your perception and then consequently, your actions. When your actions reinforce your beliefs these then turn into self-fulfilling prophecies or as we call it nowadays- manifestations.

So as mentioned in the beginning, it is the end of the year and the perfect time to sow the seeds for a positive, hopeful outlook on the new year. However, it’s not just enough to set goals and hope for the best. In order for your dreams to turn into reality, it helps for you to alter your belief system and perceptions around attaining them. As time has proven over and over again, change is an inside job first and then transmutes outward last.

Here are some tips on manifesting your best year yet:

Ask yourself: “what disabling beliefs am I holding about attaining my goals and dreams?”

You cannot manifest anything if you hold beliefs that are inevitably self-sabotaging your dreams. You need to assess if you are holding any disabling or negative beliefs about what you want to accomplish before you attempt to make your dreams into reality. Clear out your blocks first, then space will open up for newness to blossom next.

What enabling beliefs do I wish to replace the disabling ones with?

After going in and plucking all of those negative beliefs and ideas from its roots, take the time to replace them with new ones that will enable you to manifest the life that you desire.

How do I want my next year to feel?

It’s helpful to provide imagery of your perfect life, however, lasting results comes from being able to feel in your body what you want your experience to be. How do you feel when you are at your best – when you drop all identities and you are at your rawest, unfiltered, divine self? Maryam Hasnaa calls this feeling your home frequency. When you master naming this feeling, you are able to create situations you know is in alignment with YOUR truth.

For this, it helps to sit in meditation and envision imagery of your ideal self and life. Take notice of how your body feels. Does this imagery make you feel good? Do you feel happy? Is your heart pleased with this? Does it feel in alignment with your best-self, your truth? This is step is key for future reference because if the feeling in your body is in alignment or contradictory to the feeling you want to create, you will know because you’ve already studied what your home frequency is.

What steps will I take to make this next year feel like this?

After you study and master what your home frequency is, begin to create experiences that allow for you to embody that frequency. This is where you lay out the personal steps you will take in order to honor your truest self, purpose and divine nature.

As many psychologists and scientists have proven, reality is a construct that is filtered through one’s personal perception. So remember: mastering your reality will always begin with mastering yourself.

References: Panitch, D. Jones, S.C. The self-fulfilling prophecy and interpersonal attraction. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Volume 7, Issue 3. 1971.Pages 356-366. ISSN 0022-1031. https://doi.org/10.1016/0022-1031(71)90034-5.

Self-compassion and change

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So, you didn’t get that job or apartment that you wanted and now, you have a collection of reneged offers, rejection letters, and acquired hopelessness. We’ve all been there. You’re in the process of a huge transition and receiving bad news doesn’t make the change any easier. “Is this meant to be? Should I keep going?” you may ask yourself. Life surely doesn’t promise us immediate happiness and success, however, it does promise that it will change. Constantly.

Life transitions can foster fear, unease and discomfort. As an emerging adult, I can personally attest to this rollercoaster of a transition into adulthood. My main take away from the wisdom adulthood brings is: life will often be confusing and unstructured. In a nutshell, life will bring many necessary times of transformation, which can often bring about — yes, you guessed it — stress.

So here is the big question; what can we do to ease stress? Research shows that the main supporters for managing stress is optimism and self-compassion. Nevertheless, positive self-talk in the form of self-compassion and self-kindness reportedly increases well-being and decreases stress (Neely et al., 2009). Brisette et al. (2002) also reports that greater optimism leads to greater use of active coping, planning and positive reinterpretation and growth.

Here are some tips that may be helpful in fostering self-compassion and optimism throughout stressful transitions:

Life is unpredictable, accept it: We’ve already discussed that life is vastly unpredictable and tools to cope with that unpredictability. Acceptance of unpredictability allows for one to let go of the illusion of control. With this, we allow ourselves space to experience variability throughout life transitions instead of judging or berating ourselves when things don’t go as planned.

Compulsive negative thinking vastly affects productivity, motivation, and outcome: Negative thinking is normal, however compulsive negative thinking without correction can be detrimental. Practices of judgment and resistance of one’s negative thoughts often result in a greater internal struggle. It is essential to give yourself self-compassion. By using the practice of self-compassion in our self-talk, we allow ourselves to be human. Express doubts, actively observe w/o judgment and finally, apply empathy to the parts of yourself that are speaking out of fear. Often, fearful and negative thoughts represent a part of ourselves that want to protect us from suffering or disappointment. Send that part some compassion and reassurance. It is perfectly okay to be afraid; it’s apart of the process.

Use your failures as leverage: You’ve had 4 interviews within the last month and didn’t land any of those jobs. Perhaps now you feel frustrated and hopeless? That’s okay. Give yourself space to feel these emotions. Then, use those failures as leverage. Does your resume need tailoring to fit the job? Were you asking engaging questions to your interviewer? Can you create a portfolio of your creations and accomplishments? It’s important to allow room for failure because these failures (while they may suck) allow us to learn from and rectify mistakes that we have made. Every failure is a lesson — use it as such.

Be realistic: Its great to be positive and to believe that things will always work out for us, but using discernment is just as important. Knowing and understanding our boundaries is a pivotal lesson in self-care. Don’t ignore real difficulties with the hope that everything will go perfectly. Take precautions and move with calculated intelligence. That too is a huge part of embodying mature optimism.

Cultivate hope and faith: Faith and hope are two things that are essential in maintaining optimism. Do you have a belief in something or someone higher than yourself? Can you ask this being to strengthen you in hope and faith? Can you, for one second, visualize a better you? Who would you be? How would you get there? This is your life. You have all of the cards in your hand to create a better (or worse) future for yourself. Hope is a choice. It takes courage to wish and focus on goodness when the cards you’ve been dealt are the worst. But perhaps a bit of courage is all that one needs to move out from the rain of the storm into the warmth of the shelter.

References:

Arnett, J. J. (2015). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Brissette, I., Scheier, M. F., & Carver, C. S. (2002). The role of optimism in social network development, coping, and psychological adjustment during a life transition. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(1), 102–111.

Neely, M.E., Schallert, D.L., Mohammed, S.S. et al. Motiv Emot (2009) Self-kindness when facing stress: The role of self-compassion, goal regulation, and support in college students’ well-being. 88. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-008-9119-8

Getting comfortable with fear

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When doing any type of therapy or healing work it’s important to look at old patterns that may be keeping one from experiencing a fuller, healthier conscious. This search often consists of a confrontation with oneself about things that may be prohibiting one from experiencing growth. In the midst of much research, I found find this reoccurring feeling which underlies the stagnation to any change: fear.

Fear can be defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threaten. The very definition of fear gives a sense that one needs to be wary of this emotion, despite the fact that the whole of society is built upon it. Turn on the TV and our inner psyche is immediately filled with images and scenarios that provoke fear. Many of us live in houses, insulated with material comforts and entertainment for fear of living in discomfort. Many return to work with fears that if they don’t work they’ll be able to live sustainably. Many often don’t take chances for the fear of the outcome. What is it about fear that is so compelling?

Fear is a necessary learned emotion. If we were unable to feel fear in certain situations, we would then be unable to shield ourselves from hurtful or dangerous stimuli. However, fear in excess is more detrimental than it is helpful — often severely impacting our judgments and choices in situations. According to Lerner and Keltner (2001), in a study which assessed risk-taking, participants who felt fearful frequently made pessimistic judgments and choices which increased their perception of risk, in contrast to happy or angry participants who were unconcerned with risks and made judgments and choices that were optimistic in nature.

The biggest difference between a “fearful” and a “fearless” person is the comfort one has with unpredictability. Like the participants in the study, “fearless” people are known for embracing unpredictability. It does not mean that one does not have fears; it only means that it does not impact their judgments and decisions. Often, in avoiding confrontations of fear one may consequently miss out on opportunities to experience growth. In fully allowing ourselves to both question and experience those fears, we are often able to conquer and transform them.

Here are some prompts that are helpful when encountering fear:

In the midst of experiencing fear, ask yourself this question: “What am I actually afraid of?” Then ask, “What is the worst outcome of this situation? Would I be able to endure said outcome?” Taking chances in life can enable many memorable and teachable experiences. Rarely are their chances that one takes without the ability to learn something whether it is about themselves or other people. It is usually the chances that we don’t take that end up stunting opportunities for personal growth.

If there is a job, project or task that you have been hesitating to complete, do it. Even if it fails, you now have learned lessons that you can take to future projects you wish to complete. If you need to quit a habit, quit it. If you don’t start today, when will you start? If you have some healing to do, please heal. Tomorrow is not promised and nothing in this world is eternal. Try to get comfortable with the idea that you will never have all of the answers. We do not know what happens next and that’s okay. Perhaps this knowledge will give us a chance to truly enjoy what we have while it’s within our grasp.

References:

Lamia, Mary C. “The Complexity of Fear.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 15 Dec. 2011, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201112/the-complexity-fear.

Lerner, J. & Keltner, D. (2001). Fear, anger, and risk. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2001. 81:1, 146–159.