– liminal space the “in between” that moment when waiting for a call but signals never quite picks up or perhaps the dial tone rings reminding you of words you’d wish you’d said now never to be uttered it’s the space of nothingness yet holding each possibility feet aching over journeys traveled then noticing the road’s spiraled into a dense river with no boat to cross its that moment before the ending right after the climax when all that is heard is steady beating in chests cramping in their stomach shoulders hijacked toward the crown sweet, perchance detrimental anticipation time truly seems to pause in the liminal steady whispers of “haven’t you been here before?” “are you excited to see what happens next,” “or does it haunt you?” battles unwon but not quite defeated the waiting game birthing unease, impatience, anxiety in liminal space that feeling of lack of control trying to hold on to yesterdays memories as a means of predicting tomorrow its like grasping sand between tense fingers the tiniest shards cutting into subtle skin insignificant pebbles marking impressionable membranes only to see its flight thorough diminutive passageways i suppose this lesson has never been easy even in quiet moments of recognition im aware all of the secrets of the universe slip beyond what feeble minds could grasp if it could grasp anything at all with a Creator so expansive so wise, All-Knowing i suppose all the best surprises are first kept secret in letting go of the need to predict trusting infinite wisdom settling into lifes deaths i suppose i still am getting accustomed to breathing in the stillness of liminal space
When doing any type of therapy or healing work it’s important to look at old patterns that may be keeping one from experiencing a fuller, healthier conscious. This search often consists of a confrontation with oneself about things that may be prohibiting one from experiencing growth. In the midst of much research, I found find this reoccurring feeling which underlies the stagnation to any change: fear.
Fear can be defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threaten. The very definition of fear gives a sense that one needs to be wary of this emotion, despite the fact that the whole of society is built upon it. Turn on the TV and our inner psyche is immediately filled with images and scenarios that provoke fear. Many of us live in houses, insulated with material comforts and entertainment for fear of living in discomfort. Many return to work with fears that if they don’t work they’ll be able to live sustainably. Many often don’t take chances for the fear of the outcome. What is it about fear that is so compelling?
Fear is a necessary learned emotion. If we were unable to feel fear in certain situations, we would then be unable to shield ourselves from hurtful or dangerous stimuli. However, fear in excess is more detrimental than it is helpful — often severely impacting our judgments and choices in situations. According to Lerner and Keltner (2001), in a study which assessed risk-taking, participants who felt fearful frequently made pessimistic judgments and choices which increased their perception of risk, in contrast to happy or angry participants who were unconcerned with risks and made judgments and choices that were optimistic in nature.
The biggest difference between a “fearful” and a “fearless” person is the comfort one has with unpredictability. Like the participants in the study, “fearless” people are known for embracing unpredictability. It does not mean that one does not have fears; it only means that it does not impact their judgments and decisions. Often, in avoiding confrontations of fear one may consequently miss out on opportunities to experience growth. In fully allowing ourselves to both question and experience those fears, we are often able to conquer and transform them.
Here are some prompts that are helpful when encountering fear:
In the midst of experiencing fear, ask yourself this question: “What am I actually afraid of?” Then ask, “What is the worst outcome of this situation? Would I be able to endure said outcome?” Taking chances in life can enable many memorable and teachable experiences. Rarely are their chances that one takes without the ability to learn something whether it is about themselves or other people. It is usually the chances that we don’t take that end up stunting opportunities for personal growth.
If there is a job, project or task that you have been hesitating to complete, do it. Even if it fails, you now have learned lessons that you can take to future projects you wish to complete. If you need to quit a habit, quit it. If you don’t start today, when will you start? If you have some healing to do, please heal. Tomorrow is not promised and nothing in this world is eternal. Try to get comfortable with the idea that you will never have all of the answers. We do not know what happens next and that’s okay. Perhaps this knowledge will give us a chance to truly enjoy what we have while it’s within our grasp.
Genuinely Jannah 