The Art of Being in Flow

Do you really trust your Creator?

Do you even trust yourself?

From self-observation, one will find there are many ego games at play all in one instance. When we talk of surrender, we literally mean the ability to be able to completely relinquish control— or the illusion of such in which we place our faith in the hands of our Creator. Surrender requires trust: understanding that God’s plans are much more unbounded and perfect than our own. Some may say that they find surrender on the mat in the midst of yoga. When one contorts their body into pretzel-like poses or even a simple leaning forward onto stretched out legs, feeling muscles pulse in their struggle to release its hold, break, tear and form deeper into this shape.

Or perhaps surrender comes during that moment in meditation where words become sparse and one begins to hear sounds circling around them. Listening to cars whiz by; laughter from children across the street at a playground; birds in flight, the wind carrying melodious chirps or; a slight ringing sound of silence. In those moments where oneself begins to blend with the world around them, the realization that separation is the mass hallucinogenic illusion we’ve all implicitly agreed upon becomes ever so clear.

Maybe surrender arrives in the midst of prayer. When a chant and intention becomes vibration—pulsating across a thousand membranes and cells implanting itself through muscle memory. Our voices mirroring the very tremors that shaped the universe. With Gods name heavy on our tongue, hearts begin to tremble at the humble awareness of the familiar essence of its Creator. Reverence becoming our name, we bow our heads in humility understanding our own creation and God’s mercy in manifesting us.

In reality, many humans have issues with surrender in many aspects of daily living. Perhaps it’s a trouble to commit to a routine, to acknowledge our imperfection, a negligence to pull ourselves from self-importance, a lack of humility, difficulty with bowing our heads in prayer or even admitting that we do not have all of the answers.

The lesson of surrender arrives in many forms; in many that we have endured during this very year. As difficult as it may get, I am keen to remember that surrender often arrives in places where God seeks to be revered. In these spaces, we are asked to drop the force of “personal will” to allow something much bigger and wiser than ourselves to emerge. We are joined with the force of nature which knows no illusory separation and fully submits itself to the will of the Creator, following His commandments. And due to this submission, nature poses as eternally and infinitely beautiful—a reflection of God Himself which stands as a reminder to those whom seek wisdom. This wisdom allows for us to reclaim the seat of our being, causing the to submergence into submission and reemerge of our likeness of God, thus returning to our own timeless divine nature. In this we never fear the illusion of death as we return to infiniteness.

Thus our very breath turning into a return, reverence and prayer to The Most High.

Awakening the Wild Woman

As many times as I’d died, you think I’d be used to this feeling of rebirth. As I step into this new role, perhaps ancient identity—I find myself expanding in ways the physical eye cannot perceive.

I’d never enjoyed the idea of shrinking myself; of being quiet or silenced; of being docile and meek. Being raised by women daring to run against the grain to return to her nature, I’d been a witness to the unfolding process of the wild woman; as she leaves all that she has known to seek the bounty of the divine.

Marveling at the wild woman, I still feared her solitude as I captured her shadow, the isolation solidifying her lack of trust, turning one’s heart cold and speech bitter. The world shamed her for her lack of submission to patriarchal standards, maiming her an outcast of undeveloped community. She was ostracized, and in her exile was forced to nurture light in the midst of darkness. Her nature always frightened me– the threat of loneliness fastening tightly to my neck, going against my nomadic, communal nature. I ran away from the wild woman even as she beckoned me to a quiet patio to write tales of the divine, placing my forehead upon Gods plentiful earth, crooning in the arms of her bitter shadow until I was forced to see her beauty. Its amazing how stubbornly we run from that which we know can save us.

In calling in her archetype, I honor the nature of who I’ve always been and allow myself to step into the simple authenticity of being me. Peeling away each layer of identity underneath, I discover primal essence and return to the spiritual nature derived from God’s very breath. And in that moment, I realized that the wild woman was only called so because she had the courage the break loose of ego’s chains and do what everyone swore they could not.

Return to heaven by setting herself free.

This is the reopening of the journey of the wild woman.

xx Heaven

Surrendering to Liminal Space

–
liminal space
the “in between”
that moment when waiting for a call
but signals never quite picks up
or perhaps the dial tone rings
reminding you of words you’d wish you’d said
now never to be uttered
it’s the space of nothingness
yet holding each possibility
feet aching over journeys traveled
then noticing the road’s spiraled into a dense river
with no boat to cross
its that moment before the ending
right after the climax
when all that is heard is steady beating in chests
cramping in their stomach
shoulders hijacked toward the crown
sweet, perchance detrimental anticipation
time truly seems to pause in the liminal
steady whispers of “haven’t you been here before?”
“are you excited to see what happens next,”
“or does it haunt you?”
battles unwon but not quite defeated
the waiting game birthing unease,
impatience,
anxiety
in liminal space
that feeling of lack of control
trying to hold on to yesterdays memories
as a means of predicting tomorrow
its like grasping sand between tense fingers
the tiniest shards cutting into subtle skin
insignificant pebbles marking impressionable membranes
only to see its flight thorough diminutive passageways
i suppose this lesson has never been easy
even in quiet moments of recognition
im aware all of the secrets of the universe slip beyond what feeble minds could grasp
if it could grasp anything at all
with a Creator so expansive
so wise, All-Knowing
i suppose all the best surprises are first kept secret
in letting go of the need to predict
trusting infinite wisdom
settling into lifes deaths
i suppose i still am getting accustomed
to breathing in the stillness of liminal space

Xx Heaven

Self-compassion and change

nature red forest leaves — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So, you didn’t get that job or apartment that you wanted and now, you have a collection of reneged offers, rejection letters, and acquired hopelessness. We’ve all been there. You’re in the process of a huge transition and receiving bad news doesn’t make the change any easier. “Is this meant to be? Should I keep going?” you may ask yourself. Life surely doesn’t promise us immediate happiness and success, however, it does promise that it will change. Constantly.

Life transitions can foster fear, unease and discomfort. As an emerging adult, I can personally attest to this rollercoaster of a transition into adulthood. My main take away from the wisdom adulthood brings is: life will often be confusing and unstructured. In a nutshell, life will bring many necessary times of transformation, which can often bring about — yes, you guessed it — stress.

So here is the big question; what can we do to ease stress? Research shows that the main supporters for managing stress is optimism and self-compassion. Nevertheless, positive self-talk in the form of self-compassion and self-kindness reportedly increases well-being and decreases stress (Neely et al., 2009). Brisette et al. (2002) also reports that greater optimism leads to greater use of active coping, planning and positive reinterpretation and growth.

Here are some tips that may be helpful in fostering self-compassion and optimism throughout stressful transitions:

Life is unpredictable, accept it: We’ve already discussed that life is vastly unpredictable and tools to cope with that unpredictability. Acceptance of unpredictability allows for one to let go of the illusion of control. With this, we allow ourselves space to experience variability throughout life transitions instead of judging or berating ourselves when things don’t go as planned.

Compulsive negative thinking vastly affects productivity, motivation, and outcome: Negative thinking is normal, however compulsive negative thinking without correction can be detrimental. Practices of judgment and resistance of one’s negative thoughts often result in a greater internal struggle. It is essential to give yourself self-compassion. By using the practice of self-compassion in our self-talk, we allow ourselves to be human. Express doubts, actively observe w/o judgment and finally, apply empathy to the parts of yourself that are speaking out of fear. Often, fearful and negative thoughts represent a part of ourselves that want to protect us from suffering or disappointment. Send that part some compassion and reassurance. It is perfectly okay to be afraid; it’s apart of the process.

Use your failures as leverage: You’ve had 4 interviews within the last month and didn’t land any of those jobs. Perhaps now you feel frustrated and hopeless? That’s okay. Give yourself space to feel these emotions. Then, use those failures as leverage. Does your resume need tailoring to fit the job? Were you asking engaging questions to your interviewer? Can you create a portfolio of your creations and accomplishments? It’s important to allow room for failure because these failures (while they may suck) allow us to learn from and rectify mistakes that we have made. Every failure is a lesson — use it as such.

Be realistic: Its great to be positive and to believe that things will always work out for us, but using discernment is just as important. Knowing and understanding our boundaries is a pivotal lesson in self-care. Don’t ignore real difficulties with the hope that everything will go perfectly. Take precautions and move with calculated intelligence. That too is a huge part of embodying mature optimism.

Cultivate hope and faith: Faith and hope are two things that are essential in maintaining optimism. Do you have a belief in something or someone higher than yourself? Can you ask this being to strengthen you in hope and faith? Can you, for one second, visualize a better you? Who would you be? How would you get there? This is your life. You have all of the cards in your hand to create a better (or worse) future for yourself. Hope is a choice. It takes courage to wish and focus on goodness when the cards you’ve been dealt are the worst. But perhaps a bit of courage is all that one needs to move out from the rain of the storm into the warmth of the shelter.

References:

Arnett, J. J. (2015). Emerging adulthood: The winding road from the late teens through the twenties (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Brissette, I., Scheier, M. F., & Carver, C. S. (2002). The role of optimism in social network development, coping, and psychological adjustment during a life transition. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(1), 102–111.

Neely, M.E., Schallert, D.L., Mohammed, S.S. et al. Motiv Emot (2009) Self-kindness when facing stress: The role of self-compassion, goal regulation, and support in college students’ well-being. 88. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-008-9119-8