2020 Reflections—The Power of Resilience

2020 has been interesting.

Okay, I say interesting and I know many of you may be thinking “how about, horrible”.

Honestly enough, 2020 has been one of the most unpredictable, crazy and amazing years of my life. This year was paved with opportunity for distraction, misinformation, programming and difficulty. But it was also paved with deeper connection, truth, love and assistance. And as I continue to reflect on the lessons in this current stage of my life, I also realize how resiliency has been such an important characteristic to be able to manage during a time like this.

And brace yourself, its only about to get more heated.

However, internally I found myself tuning into a quiet place of solitude, rest and recovery that I’d had previous glimpses of existence. This brought me back to other cycles of my life, where I’d truly learned the meaning of connection. Solitude being a place of restoration for me, where I can put my guard down and confront myself. See myself in its rawest form. I fell in love with what God created. And in this love, I began to choose better for myself. I began to see that who I was is a beautiful result of God’s handiwork. Looking into intricate pieces of how the total came together; how one thought influenced a whole reality, how if one image or symbol changed – it reforms the whole story.

And then come the difficult parts. The witnessing self-sabotaging behavior, your fear, your judgement, your shame. Its okay, we all have it – I do too. These are truths that often we want to ignore in ourselves. But at the place of the wound is the potential and medicine to heal it. This is what is means to have resilience. It means to have the ability to forgive, to bounce back from hurts and most importantly—to move forward.

Resilience requires a bit of faith. It’s the movement that allows for us to fully process stimuli, emotions and stories. It allows for us the benefit of being able to tune into surrender, then flow. And if anything was needed this year, it was to have the ability to flow. To have courage and faith. To try our best and know that sometimes that isn’t good enough. And knowing that that’s okay. To give a helping hand and kind words. To be understanding and patient. To see another smile on another’s face. To fully tune into living and loving. This is what its all about.

So as we close 2020, I pray for each of you the gift of resilience. This year has been a tough one and if you’re reading this than I owe you a congratulations. You graduated.

Now, onto the next level. And for this, resilience will need to be in your toolbelt.

Peace, love and much blessings,

Your sister,

Jannah.

Surrendering to Liminal Space

–
liminal space
the “in between”
that moment when waiting for a call
but signals never quite picks up
or perhaps the dial tone rings
reminding you of words you’d wish you’d said
now never to be uttered
it’s the space of nothingness
yet holding each possibility
feet aching over journeys traveled
then noticing the road’s spiraled into a dense river
with no boat to cross
its that moment before the ending
right after the climax
when all that is heard is steady beating in chests
cramping in their stomach
shoulders hijacked toward the crown
sweet, perchance detrimental anticipation
time truly seems to pause in the liminal
steady whispers of “haven’t you been here before?”
“are you excited to see what happens next,”
“or does it haunt you?”
battles unwon but not quite defeated
the waiting game birthing unease,
impatience,
anxiety
in liminal space
that feeling of lack of control
trying to hold on to yesterdays memories
as a means of predicting tomorrow
its like grasping sand between tense fingers
the tiniest shards cutting into subtle skin
insignificant pebbles marking impressionable membranes
only to see its flight thorough diminutive passageways
i suppose this lesson has never been easy
even in quiet moments of recognition
im aware all of the secrets of the universe slip beyond what feeble minds could grasp
if it could grasp anything at all
with a Creator so expansive
so wise, All-Knowing
i suppose all the best surprises are first kept secret
in letting go of the need to predict
trusting infinite wisdom
settling into lifes deaths
i suppose i still am getting accustomed
to breathing in the stillness of liminal space

Xx Heaven

Getting comfortable with fear

light sky space abstract — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When doing any type of therapy or healing work it’s important to look at old patterns that may be keeping one from experiencing a fuller, healthier conscious. This search often consists of a confrontation with oneself about things that may be prohibiting one from experiencing growth. In the midst of much research, I found find this reoccurring feeling which underlies the stagnation to any change: fear.

Fear can be defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threaten. The very definition of fear gives a sense that one needs to be wary of this emotion, despite the fact that the whole of society is built upon it. Turn on the TV and our inner psyche is immediately filled with images and scenarios that provoke fear. Many of us live in houses, insulated with material comforts and entertainment for fear of living in discomfort. Many return to work with fears that if they don’t work they’ll be able to live sustainably. Many often don’t take chances for the fear of the outcome. What is it about fear that is so compelling?

Fear is a necessary learned emotion. If we were unable to feel fear in certain situations, we would then be unable to shield ourselves from hurtful or dangerous stimuli. However, fear in excess is more detrimental than it is helpful — often severely impacting our judgments and choices in situations. According to Lerner and Keltner (2001), in a study which assessed risk-taking, participants who felt fearful frequently made pessimistic judgments and choices which increased their perception of risk, in contrast to happy or angry participants who were unconcerned with risks and made judgments and choices that were optimistic in nature.

The biggest difference between a “fearful” and a “fearless” person is the comfort one has with unpredictability. Like the participants in the study, “fearless” people are known for embracing unpredictability. It does not mean that one does not have fears; it only means that it does not impact their judgments and decisions. Often, in avoiding confrontations of fear one may consequently miss out on opportunities to experience growth. In fully allowing ourselves to both question and experience those fears, we are often able to conquer and transform them.

Here are some prompts that are helpful when encountering fear:

In the midst of experiencing fear, ask yourself this question: “What am I actually afraid of?” Then ask, “What is the worst outcome of this situation? Would I be able to endure said outcome?” Taking chances in life can enable many memorable and teachable experiences. Rarely are their chances that one takes without the ability to learn something whether it is about themselves or other people. It is usually the chances that we don’t take that end up stunting opportunities for personal growth.

If there is a job, project or task that you have been hesitating to complete, do it. Even if it fails, you now have learned lessons that you can take to future projects you wish to complete. If you need to quit a habit, quit it. If you don’t start today, when will you start? If you have some healing to do, please heal. Tomorrow is not promised and nothing in this world is eternal. Try to get comfortable with the idea that you will never have all of the answers. We do not know what happens next and that’s okay. Perhaps this knowledge will give us a chance to truly enjoy what we have while it’s within our grasp.

References:

Lamia, Mary C. “The Complexity of Fear.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 15 Dec. 2011, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/201112/the-complexity-fear.

Lerner, J. & Keltner, D. (2001). Fear, anger, and risk. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2001. 81:1, 146–159.